Sex Is Better Than Church 

You get better quality partners by being good at sex than by being good at religion. 

Having sex doesn't make you feel guilty. 

You don't have to get out of bed to have sex. 

Sex is fun. 

If someone is yelling at you during sex, you're probably doing it right. 

The company is better. 

You don't have unwanted observers judging your sincerity. 

It is so interesting that you don't fall asleep until afterwards, or not at all. 

Sex doesn't have so many rules. 

Countries don't make war on each other for their sexual practices. 

You don't have to take someone else's word on how to have sex. 

The environment is more comfortable. 

The memories have a higher re-run value. 

You never have doubts that you're actually having sex. 

Even when it's bad, it's good. 

You'll never waste an afternoon arguing with someone over whether their sex life is better than yours. 

You won't be ostracized for not having sex. 

You don't have to worry about whether you've chosen the right kind of sex. 

They don't pass around collection plates in bed. 

You won't be eternally tortured in flames for not having sex, not having enough sex, or being bad at sex. 

Singing is optional during sex. 

You don't have to dress up for sex. 

You can hope for a second coming without 2,000 years of effort. 

In the throes of sexual passion, one can cry out, "Oh God! God!", but in a church service one can not cry out, "Oh Sex! Oh Sex!" 

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