Things Not to Say During Sex

Is it in? 
That's it? 
You've got to be kidding me. 
*Phone rings* hello? oh nothing and you? 
Do I have to pay for this? 
Do I have to call you tomorrow? 
Oh mother, mother! 
Oh daddy, daddy! 
You look better in the dark. 
I thought that goes in the other hole.... 
Don't tell my husband/wife. 
You have the same bra my mom does (worse if the girl says it). 
This sucks. 
Can you finish now? I have a meeting... 
I hope you don't expect a raise for this... 
I think you might get the job for this. 
Hurry up, the games about to start. 
Zzzzzzzzzzzz. 
Are you trying to be funny? 
Can I have a ride home after this? 
Are those real? 
By the way, I want to break up. 
Is that smell coming from you? 
You're so much like your sister.... 
Your mom's cute. 
What's your name again? 
Do I have to be here in the morning? 
But you just started!! 
You're about as good as a 9 year old, and I should know!! 
Don't touch that!! 
I think my dad is listening at the door. 
Smile for the camera, honey!!! 
Get your hand out of there!! 
I think the condom broke 10 minutes ago. 
I knew you wore a padded bra!! 
Cover me boys, I'm going in!!! 
God, that is small!! 
Hold on, let me change the channel... 
Who smells like fish? 
Your best-friend does it much better. 
Hurry up, the motor's running'. 
You're fogging up the wind-shield. 
Can I borrow 5 bucks? 
What the hell noise was that?! 
Stop moaning, you sound so stupid. 
I'm sorry, I was not listening. 
Stop interrupting me!! 
I have to poop. 
Did I leave the iron on? 
Is it o.k. if I call someone, its o.k. though, keep going.... 
Its ok honey, I can imagine that its bigger. 
God I wish you were a real woman. 
Why can't you ever shave your legs? 
By the way, when I drove over here, I ran over your dog.... 
Your breast milk is like my mom's.... 
You're hairy!! 
Is it o.k. if I never see you again? 
Did I forget to tell you I got worms from my cat? 
All of a sudden I have a headache. 
How much do I owe you? 
Yours is bigger then mine!
Of course you can't be on top, you're too fat!
Your ass is more hairy then mine! 
Just use your finger, its bigger. 
Does your family have to watch? 
Get off me, I'll do it myself!!!! 
Can you hold this sandwich for me? 
The only reason I'm doing this is because I'm drunk. 
My mom taught me this..... 
How cute... peach fuzz! 
Dang girl! my boob's are bigger than yours! 
Should I ask why you're bleeding? 
If you can't do it, I'll find someone else who can! 
I haven't had this much sex since I was a hooker! 
I was once a woman... 
No I don't love your mind, I can't grab that!! 
Is it o.k. if I tell my friends about this? 
I'm sobering up and you're getting ugly! 
You wanted me to use a condom? 
You're no better than my brother!! 
Mooooo!! 
Hurry up, I'm late for a date. 
Oh! that feels so... YOU'RE DONE??!! 
You ever see basic instinct? 
I'm out of condoms, can I use a sock? 
Don't squirm, you'll spill my beer. 
Did I tell you where my cold sore came from? 
Start reciting the 10 commandments. 
I think I just pooped on your bed. 
Of course I don't love you. 
Let me spell it out for you, b-r-e-a-t-h m-I-n-t.
DIVE! DIVE! DIVE! 
Fire one! 
Fire in the hole!!!

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