Men Versus Women

Woman's Quote of the Day
Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."

Man's Quote of the Day:
Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then they turn full-bodied with age until they go sour and vinegary and give you a headache.

Woman Are :
Women are like the stock market They're irrational and can bankrupt you if you're not careful.

Women are like computers, they take too long to warm up and a better model always comes along once you've already got one.

Women are like Saran Wrap Useful but clingy.

Women are like horses Fun to pet and ride but a pain to feed and clean up after.

Women are like parking meters If you don't feed them with enough money you face serious consequences.

Women are like fax machines Useful for one very specific purpose but otherwise just high-maintenance paperweights.

Women are like political campaign contributors If you let them talk about themselves long enough you wind up in bed with them

Women are like refrigerators They're always cold and never seem to have a beer when you need one.

Women are like blue jeans They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced

Women are like country western songs They're annoying, they all sound alike, but if you really listen to them you'll get depressed and drink a lot.

Men Are:
Men are like placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table.

Men are like mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like bike helmets. Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.

Men are like Government bonds. They take so long to mature.

Men are like parking spots. The good ones are taken, and the rest are too small.

Men are like copiers. You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

Men are like lava lamps.Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

Men are like high heels. They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Men are like curling irons. They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

Men are like mini skirts. If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.

Men are like bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.

Humor Sections

Get Me Back To The Lerts Lair Homepage!