Jester's Jokes 4

Rut Roh
After the baby was born, the panicked Japanese father went to see the obstetrician.
"Doctor," he said, "I don`t mind telling you, but I`m a little upset because
my daughter has red hair. She can`t possibly be mine."
"Nonsense," the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife both have black
hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool."
"It isn`t possible," the man insisted. " We`re pure Oriental."
"Well," said the doctor, "let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?"
The man seemed ashamed. "I`ve been working very hard for the past year. We
only made love once or twice a month." "There you have it!" the doctor said confidently.

"It`s just rust."

The Three Blind Mice
Three mice are sitting at a bar trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse
says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I
catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."
The second mouse counters, "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home,
grind it up to a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning. so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."
The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, 

"I don`t have time for this bullshit. I gotta go home and screw the cat."

Mr Boss Man
Mr Boss got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. One day while taking
dictation, she noticed his fly was open. When leaving the room, she said, "Sir, your barracks door is
open." He did not understand her remark, but later, happened to look down and saw that his zipper was open,
and remembered what she had said. He decided to have some fun with his secretary. He called and
asked her, "By the way, Miss Secretary, when you saw my barracks door was open this morning, did you also
notice a soldier standing at attention?" The secretary, who was quite witty, replied,

"Why, no sir, all I saw was a little disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags."
 

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