Confucius Jokes

Confucius say's All men eat, but Fu Manchu. 
Confucius say's America good place to put Chinese restaurant. 
Confucius say's Baseball very funny game--man with 4 balls no can walk!! 
Confucius say's Before becoming master fisherman, must be master baiter. 
Confucius say's Better to sleep with chicken than to choke it. 
Confucius say's Butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders. 
Confucius say's it take square ass to shit a brick. 
Confucius say's Crowded elevator smell different to midget. 
Confucius say's Fly who rest on toilet seat, get pissed off! 
Confucius say's Girl who douche with vinegar, walk around with sour puss. 
Confucius say's He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons. 
Confucius say's He who sniffs Coke, drowns. 
Confucius say's He who fart in church sit in own pew. 
Confucius say's House without toilet is uncanny. 
Confucius say's If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient. 
Confucius say's It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it. 
Confucius say's Lady who live in glass house should dress in basement. 
Confucius say's Man with an unchecked parachute will jump to conclusion. 
Confucius say's Man who drive like hell bound to get there! 
Confucius say's Man who eat jellybean fart in Technicolor.  
Confucius say's Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself. 
Confucius say's Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!  
Confucius say's Man who put cream in tart, not always baker. 
Confucius say's Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache 
Confucius say's Man who puts dick in tailpipe of car gets hotrod. 
Confucius say's Man who puts dick in electric socket gets power tool. 
Confucius say's Man who run behind car get exhausted. 
Confucius say's Man who scratch ass, should not bite fingernails. 
Confucius say's Man who screw in pantry, have ass in jam. 
Confucius say's Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands. 
Confucius say's Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloons. 
Confucius say's Man who stand on toilet, get high on pot. 
Confucius say's Man who sticks penis in peanut butter is fucking nuts. 
Confucius say's Man who walk middle of road get run over by bus. 
Confucius say's Man who run in front of car get tired 
Confucius say's Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out! 
Confucius say's Man with no legs bums around. 
Confucius say's Never trust men with short legs, brains too near the bottom. 
Confucius say's People who make Confucius joke speak bad English. 
Confucius say's Secretary not permanent till screwed on desk. 
Confucius say's To make egg roll, push it. 
Confucius say's To prevent hangover stay drunk! 
Confucius say's War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left. 
Confucius say's Wise man never play leapfrog with unicorn. 
Confucius say's Woman who put detergent on top shelf jump for Joy. 
Confucius say's Wife who put husband in doghouse, soon find him in cat house. 
Confucius say's Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom.
Confucius say's Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!"
Confucius say's Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time."
Confucius say's Baseball wrong, man with four balls cannot walk 
Confucius say's Rape is impossible. Lady run much faster with dress up than man with pants down!

 

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